Happy can be defined as “feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.”
Happiness isn’t what you think
I recently went to a workshop by Mark Sham entitled Happiness. Happiness isn’t what you think. He spoke about the concept of happiness and how it is so relevant to a specific person, their situation and their experiences. He explained how we define different situations by the stories that we tell ourselves. The world is governed by the constructs we’ve grown up to know as real but never to question them. We are so busy trying to create a living that we aren’t having experiences and enjoying the moments that we have. There were many points and sections within the workshop that looked at different points of happiness.
I’ve often struggled with the concept of happiness because I always directly compared it to positivity. In order to prove that I’m happy I need to be positive every day. Starting my motivational speaking journey, I created an expectation that I need to be motivational, happy and inspiring all the time. This is a highly unrealistic expectation because fun fact I am actually human and that is impossible. After what was realistically a couple of burnouts where I fully ran out of the ability to be happy. I came to the understanding that in order to be motivational, and inspiring I need to be healthy and real. People are inspired by a story of somebody who is living a life like them. Inspired that they can also do it.
Following the status quo.
One of the things that stood out to me was when he asked; “were you born into your name, were you born into your culture?” The answer is no. You were given a name at birth and you followed the culture that your family had chosen or was a part of. But then how did you find yourself as a person? I think it is extremely important to come to an understanding of what makes you happy as an individual. To be successful for you and not for society you need to follow what makes you happy. It is taken me many years to understand that. I’m living my life for me and not for other people. I’m finally happy in my body and I’m proud of what I’ve achieved in my life.
We spend our childhood growing up within the schooling system which involves constant instruction. You are told what to wear, when you can have a break and what to do at every moment in your life. Then suddenly you finish school and you’re told to just go out and experience the world. Do whatever you need to do. The statement is often do what makes you happy. How do you know what makes you happy? How do you know what you want to do? You have spent your entire life being told what to do?
Breaking barriers.
I personally left high school very confused. I had no idea where I fit in in this world but I also didn’t understand if I had a future due to my disability. This all comes back to the beliefs that we have due to the society that we live in. People have this assumption that individuals with a disability don’t have a future. Therefore those individuals also have that understanding. I had to break a lot of barriers and prove to a lot of people that I could do it. I had to prove to people that I was worthy of a job, that I was worthy of a future. We don’t see a world with people like me who have a future therefore it was really difficult to understand how I would have one.
I have found success through my constant belief that anything is possible. I have fought hard to get a degree and to get a job that is considered normal. I’m creating a life and a future for myself and I’m damn proud of!
Gratitude
My love language is definitely words of affirmation. As I’ve always been really into communication, writing and words. I like to hear people’s thoughts and opinions. I like to hear the reasoning behind why somebody feels the way that they do.
I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty grateful individual. I think I have a lot to be grateful for. One of the most obvious reasons that I am grateful is that I beat the odds and my life expectancy. We often answer questions with haste. We feel that we need to answer them with intention and look like we’re not thinking about the answer. Mark said something really interesting about taking a moment to really understand your answer. To really think about what you are grateful for. I personally believe that there are so many answers I could come up. There are moments in our lives when certain individuals create a change in our trajectory.
After some thought, I decided that the best way to express my gratitude was through a video series. I’m going to share my thoughts and appreciation for a couple of people.
