Asking for help is something most of us struggle with, whether we live with a disability, face mental health challenges, or are simply used to carrying the world on our shoulders. For me, as an SMA warrior, it’s been one of my biggest lessons in self-acceptance and emotional strength. This blog is about that journey — about learning that vulnerability doesn’t make you weak, it makes you real. And sometimes, asking for help is the bravest thing you can do.
Most people spend their lives striving for independence — and rightfully so. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to do things for yourself, to stand on your own, to feel capable and strong. But what happens when independence isn’t something you can fully have? What happens when asking for help isn’t a choice, but a necessity?
That’s a reality I live with every day.
For as long as I can remember, asking for help has been one of my biggest challenges. It’s something I’ve wrestled with, avoided, made peace with, and wrestled with again. I used to believe that needing help somehow defined my strength — or worse, weakened it. The world around us celebrates independence so loudly that dependence can feel like failure. But I’ve learned that isn’t true. Not even a little bit.
The Hidden Weight of Asking for Help
People don’t always realise how difficult it can be to constantly rely on others. When you live with a condition like Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA), there are so many moments in your day that require help — things most people don’t even think twice about.
And while the people around me are kind and supportive, there’s a quiet emotional toll that comes with always having to ask. It’s not just about needing assistance — it’s about vulnerability. It’s about the voice in your head whispering, you’re being a burden again.
That “burden complex” was something I carried for years. I overcompensated by trying to do everything I possibly could on my own, pushing myself to exhaustion just to prove I was capable.
But here’s the truth — that kind of strength can break you.
When Strength Becomes Burnout
There have been days when I’ve pushed through pain or frustration, just to avoid asking someone to move something for me or pour a drink. And yet, the more I tried to do it all, the heavier it became. Burnout doesn’t always arrive with fireworks; sometimes it’s a quiet exhaustion that seeps into everything.
It’s the moment you realise you’ve been fighting battles that didn’t need to be fought alone. I remember one evening sitting in my chair, completely drained. I had pushed so hard trying to prove to myself that I could “handle it,” that I’d lost sight of what mattered — my peace. My health. My joy.
That’s when it really hit me: I will always need some level of help, and that doesn’t make me any less strong.
Redefining What It Means to Be Strong
Once I accepted that, everything began to shift. I stopped seeing help as a weakness and started viewing it as a form of connection.
Because asking for help isn’t about what you can’t do — it’s about what you allow others to do with you. It’s an invitation to build trust, community, and understanding.
I’ve learned that true strength isn’t in doing everything alone. It’s in knowing your limits and giving yourself permission to honour them.
It’s in saying, “I need help,” without guilt.
And it’s in allowing others to step in, not because you’re incapable, but because together you can make life a little lighter.
Learning to Care for Yourself First
Asking for help is one of the most self-respecting things you can do. It’s an act of courage that says:
“I matter too.”
“I can’t pour from an empty cup.”
“I deserve support.”
It’s not selfish to take care of yourself first — it’s necessary. You can’t show up for others if you’re running on empty.
We’re all just doing our best, learning as we go. Some days are messy, and some are magical. But every day is a new opportunity to find balance — between strength and surrender, independence and interdependence.
The Motivation I Leave With You
If you’re reading this and struggling to ask for help — whether it’s emotional, physical, or even just needing a listening ear — please know this:
💛 Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.
💛 It makes you brave.
💛 It makes you human.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is to admit that you can’t do everything alone. Because when you do, you open the door for love, kindness, and connection to walk in.
So, today, give yourself grace. Allow others to show up for you.
Strength isn’t in standing alone — it’s in standing together.
