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Losing control

Hey all,

This last Sunday started like a pretty normal day. We went to a market with the fam, feeling spring in the air and excited for a day out.

Then my chair decided to throw a spanner in the works and stops working… I calmly turn it on and off avoiding getting anyone worried. Then realize this isn’t working out. My first thought is, what’s the plan? I look for the wheelchair company contact details knowing that it is Sunday and doubtful I’m going to get any response. I know that getting upset isn’t going to get me anywhere. We had our brunch and enjoyed ourselves!

Anyway, it’s now time to go home as we cannot wait all day. We going to have to push. Suddenly all of the calm just left my body. I’ve never been great at allowing people to push me or even holding me let alone up grass. This hill is an entirely different situation. My chest gets really tight and I go very red. I say to my sister I can’t breathe! The world just stopped, I couldn’t catch my breath and had tears pouring down my face.

A very kind man offers to help push me up the grass. There’s now the nice man, my mom, and my sister. I’m literally shaking all the way up the hill. I don’t quite know how to explain this feeling to anyone but my wheelchair is my extended body and I also have zero control over anything when being pushed.

Pushing on the bricks was a little easier but still an extremely heavy chair up a hill. A big thank you to Nigel at the Fourways farmers market for being so helpful and kind with getting our car closer and helping get me in. Extra thanks to Michelle and my mom for getting me home in one piece!

I really hope that with these stories people will get an understanding into the significance of what a wheelchair is to a person with a disability! I don’t know a life without one and I am extremely grateful that everyone around me ensures that I have my independence by having my chair.

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